Arsene Wenger: Adieu Monsieur! #MerciArsene


First thing, I will need the Hippo. Without the Hippo, I can’t work for you“.

Gazidis and Kroenke exchange awkward and baffled looks while trying to avoid his smouldering dark eyes. Gazidis clears his throat, Kroenke places a hand on his left knee. He moves forward in his plush leather seat and attempts to lock eyes with the man in front of him, he can’t.


Bloody hell, I have negotiated with Ranch Owners and Wall Street types and I can’t look this guy in the face

He muttered to himself .

The man in front of him asks:

Que? “.

Mr Simeone, the animal rights groups won’t be too pleased, it will be a PR disaster for the club if we got you a Hippopotamus, I am sure it is illegal“.


Simeone let’s out a deep and booming laughter.

“You are not ready, you are unserious people, you did not do your homework Eh, the Hippo is not a Hippopotamus it’s my friend Mono. I can’t work with you if you are not diligent in such a simple matter, thank you, Hasta Luego” .



As the curtain descends on Arsene Wenger’s reign as Arsenal manager, the club’s management, players, staff, statues and fans will experience a strange feeling. The fans especially have been calling for his departure for close to a decade. Now that their wish has been granted ,they don’t know how to react. Most of his staunch critics have been reduced to platitude serving ingrates since the announcement was made.

The management will have to get a replacement and for the sake of Arsenal’s long suffering and readily complaining fans, they need to make a better fist of it than the above hypothetical scenario.



Arsene Wenger came to Highbury and transformed it into a bastion of skill, graft, winning and premium French speaking football talent.But as an economist, he knew the numbers didn’t add up especially in terms of gate fees revenue in comparison to other top teams like Newcastle, Man Utd, Chelsea and Liverpool. And Arsene knows, he knew Arsenal needed a bigger stadium and he went ahead to build one.

The Emirates stadium years were supposed to herald an era of prosperity , financial robustness off the field on field succes. Arsenal expected that with additional gates revenue, they will rule financially and provide the funds for Wenger to build a new team around the talents of globally sourced but Arsenal trained youngsters. But Wenger and Arsenal had made a wrong calculation.


Their model didn’t factor in the influx of Russian, American and Arab Petrodollars into the revenue stream of football clubs. In addition, the very lucrative egalitarian broadcast deals from Sky and BT Sports and official noodle partner endorsements further skewed the arithmetic. It was like preparing to go out in the rain with an umbrella and feeling proactive only to meet a hurricane.



This of course does not really mean that Wenger failed at Arsenal, Wenger’s influence on the English game was transformative. He taught the English what modern match preparation, rest, recuperation and conditioning were at the highest level. His Arsenal teams created the template for the high octane, technical and muscular football which came to define English football in the 2000s. He also invented Broccoli and replaced Guinness with water. A near miracle. Even the bare figures are impressive: 22 year in charge of Arsenal, 1228 games, 3 Premier League titles, 7 FA cups, 7 Community Shields and a plethora of individual honours.

Wenger gave Arsenal and English football a good time. But like a an ex spouse still around on the 28th of December he maybe overstayed his goodbye, now hopefully he will get a befitting  one.


Article By: Ernest, @Erny_B